Black All Year: You are enough

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Hi everyone and welcome to Black All Year. This is the podcast that celebrates blackness not just in October or when it's trending, but every single day of the year. I'm Steph Edusei and today's episode is a solo one.

It's just you and me having a heart to heart. I want to share something deeply personal and something I think many of us need to hear. Now this episode is inspired by a chapter from my upcoming book, A Little Book of Leadership Lessons and the chapter is called You Are Enough.

It's a message I wrote from my heart and one I wish someone had told me much earlier in my leadership journey. Let me take you back to a time a few years ago. I was sitting in a boardroom and I was surrounded by senior leaders.

It was the kind of room I had worked hard to get into and yet I sat there. I was quietly wondering, am I supposed to be here? That voice started listing all the reasons I wasn't good enough. I wasn't strategic enough.

I wasn't qualified enough. I wasn't polished enough. I just simply was not enough.

Now I've learned since then that I was not alone in that feeling and that many of us, especially black people, women and others from marginalised backgrounds or anyone who's ever been the only one in the room, also carry this invisible pressure. We feel like we have to be perfect to be accepted and we minimise ourselves so we won't be seen as too much. We tend to overcompensate to avoid being called out.

But this is something that I've now come to realise is the truth. That voice that you hear is not really yours. It's an echo of the world's biases and it's time that we quietened it.

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The chapter You Are Enough is a reminder that your worth is not up for debate. You are not missing something. You don't need to wait until you have the right degree or the perfect tone or the seat at the table.

You are enough right now as you are. And when I say this to you, I'm saying it not knowing who you are. But I can guarantee that no matter what your role is, no matter who you are, You Are Enough.

Can we improve? Of course we can. There's no such thing as perfection, but You Are Enough. But the systems we move through often try to convince us otherwise.

They reward the loudest voices, the most confident performances and the model that the minority presents as being the ideal. But real leadership? That comes from knowing your value even when the room doesn't recognise it. Believing you are enough is not just about self-esteem, it's about reclaiming your power.

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And when you lead from that place, it changes everything because you stop seeking permission and you start making an impact. Let's talk a little bit more about that voice in our heads, the one that whispers you don't belong here. That voice, that's what's often called imposter phenomenon and it shows up loudly for so many of us.

You might have heard it referred to as imposter syndrome, but let me say this. It's not a syndrome. You are not broken.

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You are not unqualified and you are not imagining things most of the time. Imposter phenomenon is, I think, a natural response to being in spaces that weren't built with us in mind. When you're constantly navigating environments where you're the first, the only, or one of few, it can be really disorienting and you begin to question yourself, not because you lack ability, but because the space lacks affirmation.

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Thinking back over my childhood and my teenage years, I had lots of messaging telling me as a girl, as a young woman, and as an ethnically minoritised black person that I didn't really belong there. I was told to be quiet and be nice and not just because I was female, but because to not be nice could be dangerous for me as a black person. So that conditioning of you don't belong feeds into this feeling that many of us experience, this phenomenon that we experience.

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I remember stepping into my first leadership role and thinking, any minute now they're going to realise that I'm not the real deal. They're going to find me out as an imposter and a fraud. But what I now recognise as being really wild is that I had earned that.

I had the track record. I delivered the results. I had the commitment and I had the skills, but the feeling, the feeling that I had didn't match reality.

And this is what I've learned as time's gone by. You can feel like an imposter and still be excellent. You can be outstanding and yet feel like a fraud.

Because feeling that doubt doesn't equal the absence of ability. Let me say that again. Feeling that doubt does not equal the absence of ability.

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And when you start to understand that, things can start to shift. You'll maybe realise that your feelings don't get the final say on how worthy you are. You might stop measuring yourself against standards that you never agreed to.

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And you might slowly begin to lead from a place of truth. You might recognise and hear that praise when it's delivered and recognise the signals that the environment is sending you that you don't belong when they also show up. The truth is this.

Imposter phenomenon thrives in isolation. I would never have said years ago that I had imposter phenomenon. That I didn't feel good enough.

That I felt like I was a fraud and that I didn't fit in. Because I was actually terrified that people would turn around and say, you know what Steph, we didn't like to say it, but now you've mentioned it, you don't. Imposter phenomenon grows when we're disconnected from community, from support and from reflection.

And that's why talking about it matters. I've found that talking about it frees other people. Naming it is part of the disarming it.

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So if you're listening right now and you've ever second guessed yourself in a meeting, you've downplayed your achievements or you've stayed silent even when you had the answer, and how infuriating is that? I want you to know this. You're not alone and you are not an imposter. You are a human being who is navigating systems that often overlook brilliance when it doesn't look like the status quo.

But your story, your presence and your leadership all matter and they are so sorely needed now more than ever. We need a different type of leadership and you have that. Now when I talk about leadership, I don't just mean job titles.

I mean the way we influence the world around us, the way we parent, we organise, we show up in our communities, we advocate for others, speak up in a meeting or even how we choose to rest. You don't have to wait for somebody to come along and anoint you a leader because you already are one. I've seen leadership in nurses on night shifts.

I've seen it in young people who start movements online. In aunties who will keep the entire family going with very little thanks. And in people like you, those of you listening right now, showing up, learning, in some cases unlearning, healing and yes you're leading.

And leadership isn't about being perfect. It's about being real. And when you accept that you are enough, you give others permission to believe it too.

You Are Enough is just one of the huge number of reflections in my new book, A Little Book of Leadership Lessons, which is launching officially on the 17th of June this year. The book is a collection of short, heartfelt lessons that I've learned from years of leading, failing, growing and showing up, especially as a black woman in spaces where I wasn't always expected or welcomed. And if today's message has resonated with you, I'd love you to join my priority list.

You can sign up either via my normal socials or I will pop a link in the show notes and you'll learn when the book's about to arrive and you'll also get access to some exclusive launch content and offers. It's quick and easy to sign up and it means that we get to stay connected as this book makes its way into the world. So I want you to know that when you think that you're experiencing imposter phenomenon and you think that you are not enough, you are.

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Wherever you're listening, whether you're walking, working, parenting, caring, resting, whatever, I want to leave you with this. You Are Enough. You have always been enough and you don't have to prove anything to anyone.

You just need to claim that truth. Thank you for spending this time with me on Black All Year. I'll be back again next week with more conversations, more voices and more reasons to keep celebrating who we are.

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And if today's episode spoke to you, please share it with someone who needs this as a reminder too. Until then, I want you to take up space. I want you to speak with courage and never forget you are and you always have been enough.